Kim Petras Serves Listeners the Perfect Song to Start 2022
Kim Petras’ “Coconuts” celebrates all of our tatas and is the summer banger we needed for the new year.
Written by Jacob Swenson
Kim did it again. She gave what needed to be given. And no, I’m not talking about Kim Kardashian, Kim Cattrall, or Kim Jong Un. I’m talking about the legend herself, Kim Petras.
All throughout November, she edged us. On TikTok, at award shows, and all over social media, Kim teased snippets of a song with the lyrics, “my coconuts, you can put them in your mouth.” While the song was initially planned for release in January as one of the lead singles from her upcoming album with Republic Records, Kim committed an act of public service by releasing it early on December 3, 2021.
The first day “Coconuts” was available for streaming, I probably listened to it about ten times. Every aspect of the song is not only addictive, but the upbeat vibes are what we need amidst part three of this pandemi moore. The ongoing comparison and innuendo of her “so juicy and so ripe” coconuts – which have been given the names Mary-Kate and Ashley – is pure camp and deserves an undying “yassssss” yelled from an audience.
On face value, this oh-so “cocolicious” song is just another fun summer bop (iconic of Kim to release a summer banger during the winter… she is always ahead of the game). However, “Coconuts'' has an important message about embracing our bodies. (A message many of us, including myself, deserve to hear after gaining weight this past holiday season.) Even though messages of body positivity are becoming more common in mainstream music, hearing one of the leading LGBTQ+ artists tell us to “watch ‘em bounce up and down” is not only refreshing, but something to celebrate.
After personally falling in love with a song that may literally be called fruity, I have made it my mission the past month to make everyone I encounter stan “Coconuts.” One of my first attempts at spreading the word of Ms. Petras was with a couple of my hometown friends. Fortunately, the exchange was documented on iMessage and goes as follows:
Me: “Y’all”
Me: “This will determine if we have the same FYP… do you know the song Coconuts”
Friend 1: “Yes by like Kate Petras or something”
Friend 1: “My coconuts”
Me: “KAYE”
Friend 1: “My coconuts”
Me: “EZCUSE ME”
Me: “KATE”
Friend 1: “U can put them in ur mouth”
Me: “It’s Kim”
Friend 1: “It’s something basic babes”
*I attempted to start a facetime call to educate them but neither joined*
Friend 2: “I’m at the bus stop”
Friend 1: “I’m sharting”
Despite these two friends not even knowing the singer behind “Coconuts,” I have since converted them into lovers of “the twins.” I was so successful that Friend 2 who was inconveniently “at the bus stop” (who is also a ginger and Disney adult… pick a struggle) recently said the following after I told them I would be writing about “Kate” Petras: “Truly a groundbreaking anthem promoting self liberation and body positivity.” (I felt like such a proud dad after hearing this. I could not have said it better myself.)
In addition to Friend 2, I posted a questionnaire on my Instagram story before writing this article and if respondents did not say they first heard “Coconuts” through TikTok, they said I introduced them to it. (As I should have…) Moreover, nearly 90% of respondents said “yes, watch ‘em bounce” when I asked whether they were fans of Kim Petras’ “Coconuts.”
Furthermore, when I asked for opinions on “Coconuts” or Kim Petras in general, I received some of the following responses:
“She makes me love having a set of margarita-tas on me”
“so yaaaaass and slay”
“They small”
“Luv the song - she has some bops”
“First time I heard one of her songs was the Heart to Break LS [lip sync] on RPDR [RuPaul’s Drag Race] S12”
“you know how I feel”
“You showed it to us and it got stuck in my head”
“She makes my balls jiggle”
“Everybody loves the twins”
I think many of my respondents would agree (or would eventually agree after I persuade them) that Kim Petras is on her way to becoming an even bigger pop sensation. Petras’ brand fits perfectly with current pop culture phenomenons that lean into camp like Katy Perry’s Las Vegas Residency, the “yassifying”/campification trends on TikTok, and the growing popularity of drag culture. Kim is also someone who should be supported for making history. In 2021, she was the first out transgender performer at the VMAs and Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
At the MTV Europe Music Awards, Kim’s legendary performance of “Coconuts” included a teaser of “Hit It From the Back,” another single expected to be on her upcoming album. The song has a bit slower of a tempo, but I think it has potential to be a bop as well.
Overall, I am excited for what is to come for Kim. In an interview with Paper Magazine, she promises the album will be inspired by the European pop music she danced to in her room while growing up. Additionally, Kim is unabashedly embracing the title of “slutty pop” music which she says is too often written off “as not being important.”
Regardless of whatever the critics may claim, if “Coconuts” is any indication of what the rest of her album will be like, sign me up, sign up all my friends who I will coerce into listening, and then sign me up again so there’s no chance I miss the notification for when it drops.
In the meantime, my coconuts will be bouncing up and down to what will likely be one of the best bops of 2022.
